The Disciplines of Grace!

^This book is written by Jerry Bridges. Awesome writer.
God's role and our role in the pursuit of holiness.

I found something I really liked in the first chapter:

Every day our Christian experience should be a day of relating to God on the basis of grace alone. We are not only saved by grace, but we also live by grace every day. This grace comes through Christ, "through grace whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand" (Romans 5:2)

grace, grace, grace.

Colorado!

LOL, Look at the little one! He's sooo CUTE! He looks like Curious George! Ironically he's wearing a monkey shirt!
^ What a trouble maker! Totally Curious George!



So surprise, I went to Breckenridge, Colorado! Well I almost did, but I had a midterm.. But my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousin went, which seems pretty awesome to know they had loads of fun on their mini vacation! Hahaha, my mom tagged me as the American flag to include me in one of the pictures, I feel super patriotic now.

Oh, my uncle graduated from .. I'm not exactly sure what college, but he received his MBA.

Yay, I can't wait to go home!

Sovereign Grace Music is awesomesauce! :) Thinking about purchasing a CD, is it worth it?? (Along with a theology book I've been eyeing on!)

Based on The Valley of Vision prayer “The Trinity”

Words and Music by Mark Altrogge

Verse 1
Father, You loved me
Sent Your Son to redeem
Jesus, You washed me
By Your blood I am clean
Spirit, You’ve opened these blinded eyes
And brought me to Christ

AMEN!

Chorus
Heavenly Father, beautiful Son
Spirit of light and truth
Thank You for bringing sinners to come to You

Verse 2
Father, You gave me
To Jesus to keep
And Jesus, You love me
As a shepherd, his sheep
Spirit, You've given me faith in the Son
And made our hearts one

Verse 3
Father, You're waiting
To hear my requests
Jesus, Your loving
Open hand is outstretched
Spirit, You're in me, You intercede
And help in my need


SGM (Sovereign Grace Music)- Has some definitely solid and Biblical songs! :) If you get the chance, listen to them on grooveshark.com

Pride

I am an overachiever when it comes to earning grades. Although grades can only speak so much, rather jobs and grad school see experience > than grades. I worked so hard to get the unthinkable 4.0 for my entire sophomore year. But overall it was out of God's grace and I am totally blessed for what He has given me! Yesterday, I took my midterm, which was horrible. In high school, I barely studied and I got the grades I deserved B-C average and in many occasions D-F. For the first time in my college career, I have never felt sooo unprepared for an exam since high school. This is definitely a humbling experience for me. I believe this is my first failing test in college, perhaps my first C (if I pick it up) in the course. But the weird thing is.. I'm okay with it. SOO, PTL in all that He is doing! :)

Falling In Love

What does it mean to fall in love? This is not your average type of love, it's unconditional love given by someone who is crazy about us. It's not that He needs our love, but rather because He wants to love us! We on the other hand at times don't want to love, know, or have to do anything with Him, but need Him. We are nothing without Him! You can probably identify who loves us, GOD the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

How does a love relationship with the Lord look like? I remember awhile ago, I got to experience a gist of what loving the Lord is, but it's definitely does not come close to how much the Lord loves you and I. A love relationship with God is not merely showing how loud we can pray, how high we raise our hands, or even how much we do for God. A love relationship with God is falling in love with the Gospel! How awesome is that? Sometimes I myself have grown so use to the Gospel, because I've heard of this probably a hundred times. Knowing it is different from believing and falling in love with this one truth! The Gospel takes years and years of understanding, even though we'll never FULLY understand the Gospel. And after falling in love with the Gospel Everything will follow afterward!

If you ever get the chance, read the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney! But I definitely recommend reading the actual Gospel in the Bible! :)

Secondly, it is also a habitual relationship with the Lord! How does our walk with the Lord look like when we're alone compared to when we're in a crowd. Does our relationship run low when we're alone? Evaluating ourselves on a daily basis is sooo important!

Side note:
So I have class at 10am, but I've been waking up super early at like 7am and I really like it! :) Yay, I'm a morning person now!

Updates For The Weekend

License:
I know many of you have been bugging me to get my license.. So, I took my behind the wheel driving test at 8:40am. Thanks to Chewy who was so willing to take me! And..... *drum roll*, I passed! :) I was so nervous my right leg was shaking the entire time and I almost hit the curb while pulling over and a car while entering back into the DMV parking lot *phew*, but out of God's graciousness, I passed! Praise the Lord! I'm super duper excited to drive people around and me self around without relying on others. I need to work on my backing up and parallel parking. Almost hit a car backing up on Friday. I'm too short :(. & Cars always pass and tailgate me, cause I drive speed limit.. I'm a noob.

Midterm:
Soooo, I have a Biological Anthropology midterm tomorrow. Totally screwed, this is the first time I'm going to wing my midterm. *crosses fingers* I don't want to fail this class, but WHY am I so not motivated?? I'm so glad that I'm taking only 2 classes right now, if I took three, I'd be crying right now. Well that means 6, yes SIX classes spring semester of 2011. God please help me!

Behind this smile is a heart yearning to be healed.

It's been five long months since the Lord took away my most prized possession, but I'm ready to hand my life over to Christ once again. I want to be selfless and serve Him with all that I can.

"I want to fall in love with You more and more everyday. You are so beautiful, how can I not fall more in love with you?"

In the secret
in the quiet place
in the stillness You are there
in the secret
in the quiet hour i wait
only for You
'cuz i want to know you more

i want to know you
i want to hear your voice
i want to know you more
i want to touch you
i want to see your face
i want to know you more

i am reaching for the highest goal
that i might receive the prize
pressing onward
pushing every hindrance aside
out of my way
'cuz i want to know you more


You are all I need.

I'd rather write a 10 paged paper than study for this midterm!..

I LOVE Midnight Chats! Definitely A Blessing From the Lord!

Lead Me

So this is what a marriage looks like.


Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Grades

I have this inkling feeling that I'm not going to get a 4.0. This is my second time taking architecture. Once in high school, now college... :/ I don't know why, but do I settle for the B?

God is still good! Praise the Lord for His grace that I am able to receive good grades over the past year despite my trials. You never cease to amaze me!

Joanne:

architectureprofessor

he is quite the hilarious.

Actually, we find it funny because he’s so mean.

So our assignment two days ago was to build a pasta bridge,

and Tiffany built a pretty big foundation.

During critiques, he was like,
“I can tell you spent a lot of time and effort on the bridge,”
Tiff: “yeaah, it took me a long time”
Prof: “wasted!”

we were just like, whaaat?!?! and laughed it off

I somehow have this weird feeling that he can hear it when I make jokes and mock him outside of class.

I personally think he hates me. He did shout “be quiet” to me during class today.

I guess I got kinda loud and excited when my friends and I were talking about how it was hot/cold last night.

Prayers

My prayer walk blossomed freshmen year. I've realized that prayer develops overtime, which made it easier for me to pray during quiet times and in large group settings. This year I've lost passion for prayer, especially for others. Eventually my prayers was done either out of obligation and guilt or selfish gain. Recommitting myself to prayer will definitely be a challenge for me, but I'm up for it! :)

When I was young, my mom and I would pray before we fell asleep. Often times I was embarrassed of praying in front of others (yes I was shy even in front of my mom). But she really helped me gain self confidence in prayer. Anyhoos, during our prayers together, my mom demonstrated selfless prayer, because she prayed for everyone indvidually that came to mind. At times she wouldn't pray for herself or she would add a few sentences for herself in the end.

I think... I'm going to make a prayer wall again.. since it's so hard for me to remember everyone's prayers. If you have any prayers, email, aim, phone, and or comment!

Edit:

1 John 5:14-15 (English Standard Version)

¹⁴And this is^A)">(A) the confidence that we have toward him, that^B)">(B) if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. ¹⁵And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

It's Just God and Me!

RESOLVED.

Over time, it has gotten a lot easier to let go. I'm not simply stating the simplicity of the situation rather the thankfulness I am in the Lord that He's been sovereign in His plans. Though it sometimes is painstakingly hard to forget the past, regardless God is still good. I guess this is goodbye after two years of everything we went through. As much as it felt like it all that was invested went down the drain, I know God gives and takes away and everything given by God was out of GRACE.

Blessed Be Your Name-
You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.

When I read the book of Job, OH boy! Wow to see everything taken away from him and still he was able to say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME! How encouraging is that?!

The real question is whether or not serving the Lord overseas will bring glory to the Lord and of original intention. I really want to serve overseas, but where? There's so many programs, but recently I had a very in-depth conversation with a friend of mine during our Mexico missionary trip. I shared with him my interests of applying to a Korean teaching program overseas. To cut a long story short, we somehow ended up talking about how serving in third world countries is much needed, but what about serving rich and industrialized countries who don't know about God? Korea has a super duper high Christianity rate, but what about Japan? Not to say Korea is not industrialized, rather there is a higher rate. This verse came to mind:

Mark 10:25 (English Standard Version)

²⁵It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter^A)">(A) the kingdom of God."

I really wanted to go to Resolved Conference this coming weekend, but summer school is in session. Perhaps next year. Resolved Conference was inspired by Jonathan Edwards' resolved resolutions. Here's one of them:

Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God's glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution. -Jonathan Edwards

TO FREQUENTLY DELIBERATE ACTION, WHICH SEEMS MOST UNLIKELY TO BE DONE, FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!

Another one of the many:
Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

I want to serve the Lord all that I can without an ulterior motive. I don't want to live in this worldly perspective. All for the GLORY OF GOD!

The key to Christian living is a thirst and hunger for God. And one
of the main reasons people do not understand or experience the
sovereignty of grace and the way it works through the awakening of
sovereign joy is that their hunger and thirst for God is so small."
-John Piper

^I want to thirst and hunger for the LORD more than ever. I want to live a habitual spiritual life for Christ and no longer for myself. And the rest will fall into place.

This Week!

This week I've been insanely busy, especially with school. I'm kind of glad that I'm taking 8 units rater than 12 units, but that means 20 units for spring semester of 2011. I haven't taken summer school since 6th grade and taking summer school at a UC is not quite what I had expected. The enormous amounts of readings, taking notes, projects, midterms, and on top of that 2 in a half hour lectures, is pretty much a handful. But I'm sure it will all be worth it after everything.

One of the classes I added was Biological Anthropology and it is extremely difficult to study the material, because the professor believes in Evolution and the Big Bang Theory. It as been difficult to define myself in the classroom. I really do want to stand up for what I believe in, but I'm not exactly sure how.

-
My license test is this week and I really do want to pass soooo badly. Never in a bagillion years did I picture myself driving. I can't wait to serve others by taking them out to places with my car even though the car is only going to last a few months before it breaks down again. But praise God for this limited opportunity! :)

I've never been sooo excited to get to know the incoming freshmen! Orientation is tomorrow! So I hope God willing that I will get to meet some of the incoming freshmen. Someone from my church and my second cousin are coming this year as freshmen! Definitely looking forward to that! :)

Rambles

An older Sister in Christ back in the day babysat a few of us youngings in church has done a spectacular job with her husband capturing beautiful pictures for wedding and engagement photo sessions: Orange Turtle Photography.

Being a girl, I love attending weddings, because it is a holy matrimony between two intertwining to become one. It is a promise on behalf of both parties committing to a lifetime promise by exchanging vows. "to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life." This beautiful day is witnessed by a multitude of family members, friends, coworkers, relatives, etc.

Switching gears, Christ is married to His bride, the Church. "Ephesians 5:22-33, is the most detailed teaching on marriage in the Bible. We will spend the next three weeks considering this passage. Today, we will notice the place of these verses in the context of the entire book, and then focus on the relationship between Christ and the church. For Paul compares human marriage to the marriage of Christ and his church. Since most of us, however, have little understanding of the relationship between Christ and the church, we are unable to draw out the proper implications for us as husbands and wives."
source

TBC.

Resolutions

Resolutions for the remainder of my college career:

1. Spiritually Disciplined- Read the Word everyday not out of obligation (not legalistic), but out of desire. Pray more. Read more books! Memorize verses.
2. Commitment to the Lord- Just God and I.
3. Community- Be intentional with others. Reach out. Pray and love them.
4. Content- No shopping, allocating money
5. Missional
6. Health- Gain weight, Exercise (HALF DOME!)

I love how Blogspot has a buncha design palettes to choose from! There's so many!

Division?

Have you noticed why there are several denominational churches or even non denominational churches coexisting?

There are a plethora reasons why churches run by a specific theology and or vision. This bring up a question whether or not spiritual food comes from:

1. Subjectivism- basing our view of God on our changing feelings and emotions.
2. Legalism- basing our relationship with God on our own performance.
3. Condemnation- being more focused on our sin than on God's grace.

I recently discerned my foundation in belief through analyzing and evaluating my heart and mind. For a fact, I am not here to influence or sway the decisions of your perspective, rather to create awareness of the issue of division. How do we conjoin different types of beliefs in order to be on agreeable terms with one another? There is not a true way to fix this issue, rather the goal of the problem is to truly pray and love one another despite disagreements regarding theology. This seems like a simple task to accomplish, but in reality it really isn't easy.

While I was in the process of finding what theology I believed in, I spent more time judging others by the way the worshiped. But the Lord has humbled me to remind me that He works in different ways. Worship is versatile.

However, there are a few truths I do believe that sits solid. Just to list a few:

Scripture > Feelings/Emotions

"What's greater is the Truth (Bible) that we focus on first will cause feelings follow.. they'll be reliable feelings because they are anchored in truth. "-CJ Mahaney (Living the Cross Centered Life)


2 Timothy 8-10
8Therefore(Q) do not be ashamed of(R) the testimony about our Lord, nor of(S) me his prisoner, but(T) share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, 9(U) who saved us and(V) called us to[a] a holy calling,(W) not because of our works but because of(X) his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began,[b] 10and which now has(Y) been manifested through(Z) the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus,(AA) who abolished death and(AB) brought life and(AC) immortality to light through the gospel

Feelings: affect our view of reality & the way we live in response to reality

"If we want our hearts to be moved by the gospel, if we want our emotions engaged, if we want to be truly amazed... w e have to start by putting our feelings in their proper place. "
How feelings-focused are we?

"We let our feelings tell us what's true, instead of letting the truth transform our feelings. We let subjective impressions determine what we'll accept as objective fact."

"It's a frightening experience to sit with individuals who actually insist that what they feel is ultimately more autoritative to them than what's written clearly in Scripture.
"God opposes the proud...God gives grace to the humble." James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5

As I began to believe the objective truth of His Word regardless of how I feel, I am consistently reminded that Jesus loves you, me, us regardless of our feelings. What an amazing truth! God is SOO GOOD!

Overview!

Although summer is coming to a halt and summer school is right around the corner, I am ready to hit the books! Time flies by quick, it's been a month since I stepped foot into school and in all honesty, it has been one of the most relaxing and enjoyable summers yet! This summer was filled with laughter, quality time, and personal growth. I am definitely looking forward to my second half of my summer after summer session. Here's a brief overview of what I did:

CPC Sponsor Family BBQ- I wish I had a picture of my sponsor parents, but here's a gist of what we did! :)

Last large group of Spring 2010.

Post Graduation- We had about 5 farewell dinners/hang outs. And here's a few of them: Starbucks 1/2 off Frappuccino! Froyo! Lunch @ the senior girls house. SF Sleepover!

Great America, Sleepover, BJ's with Elementary School/HS Friends!

CPC's Tijuana, Mexico Missionary Trip- This missionary trip has reaffirmed me of why I want to serve overseas in the nearby future! (After spending a week in Mexico, my heart really goes out to the children who don't know of God's love. These kids have so much joy and hope, even though many of them don't have families or even a home to run to. It really encouraged me to serve the Lord with all that I can whether it is working in an orphanage or teaching in an elementary school overseas. To live with urgency now that God has given me a second chance to give all that I have!)

Breakfast with Bao&Paloma!

More pictures to come!

Side note: It has truly been out of God's grace and mercy that I am able to really get to know my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. I am sooo blessed to be a part of their lives to see their spiritual growth! :)

Crutch Vs. Christ

While in high school, I really wanted to go to UC DAVIS sooo badly! Unfortunately, I was unable to maintain a cumulative grade higher than a 3.3 weighted. The reason why I wanted to go to UCD was because they had my major of choice- Interior Design, Landscape Architecture. And I fell in love with the people in Compass Fellowship. DCCC also known as DC^3.

I was recently asked, "Do you regret going to UC Merced?"

At the top of my head, I would have to say YES. Although near the beginning of my freshmen year, I loved UC Merced, because I had community and growth. So why do I feel remorse over going to UCM? At the spur of moments-I wish I had tried harder in high school. I wish I had STUDIED in high school. I regret meeting someone who changed my life in both a positive and negative way. Through the shortcomings on both parties and the lack of discernment, sometimes I wondered what would happen if I never met that person. I probably wouldn't have caused or cope with the pain and scarring of a bitter relationship. Nor would I loose my identity. People wouldn't look at me so differently or judge me. I wouldn't of lost dozens of friends. I wish there was a reset button. Fellowship hopping in UCM is not really an option. I want to be in a community with similar theology and the way of approaching and running things. I don't want to deal with the loneliness and rejection. What am I doing serving on leadership? It feels undeserved. I don't want to be placed with such a heavy burden. I blame myself for making these horrible decisions. For my lack of integrity and horrible character.

These complaints have accumulated over the past two years.

In retrospect, these trials have helped me grow for future references. In the long run, I know that these events happened for a reason. There is no growth without trials. Right? I learned not to use a relationship as a crutch. Rather, cling onto the cross. Christ is all we need. God will provide someone perhaps MORE compatible. Loneliness? We are never alone, Christ stands beside us. Serving on leadership? Perhaps it's time to grow up and be an adult. Undeserved role in leadership? We are all undeserving of God's grace. We deserve eternal punishment, but out of God's LOVE we are redeemed by the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST! Lack of community and loneliness? God's way of showing me He is all I need? Foreshadowing of serving on missions? Teaching overseas? Lack of forgiveness and judgement from others? NO sin is greater than any sin.

*This post is to describe the entirety of my honest thoughts. At the time of my struggles I am flooded with these thoughts. Not to say that there aren't Sisters and Brothers in Christ in Merced who I LOVE spending time with. I know I will come to love Merced, despite my shortcomings. Although there are times when I think about what if I ended up in Davis, would my life be any different? But praise the Lord for all that He did, does, and is doing with my life.