Interesting Topic

I remember someone showing me this xanga page. So, why the random post? I think this is a really interesting topic. There are TONS of stories and entries like this one. So if you want to check it out, feel free to!

"Should I Marry That Future Doctor/Lawyer or Pastor/Missionary? People always have this question. Many of my friends did or do. They're dating this guy/girl and they don't know if they should continue with the relationship. Their bf/gf plans to be a doctor and they're only applying to medical school right now. We're looking at another 7-8 years of being poor (relatively) and in debt. Or say you're a girl and you meet this guy and he's pretty neat except that he wants to go to seminary and be a pastor/missionary. And then all of a sudden everyone and their mom is asking you if you're ok being a "pastor's wife" or want to be a missionary. People will start throwing out words like "calling" and asking questions like "do you feel called into ministry?" And you're like "what?!" "All I wanted is to date Billy!" Well, I've seen it happen both ways. People date, get married and maybe the woman supports the man for 5+ years while he goes and gets his PhD/. Or I've seen it where they date, guy goes off to med school, girl sticks with him, and by the time he gets to year 4 or 5 of dating they break up. For whatever reason they thought it wise to date for that long. They probably should have gotten married but I'm guessing the guy didn't want to marry while he was flat broke and in debt. So it didn't happen. So here are my guidelines for anyone dating someone that's going to be in school for a long time (PhD, MD, MBA, etc.) or doing something that will put you through the grinder (pastor, missionary, traveling circus acrobat, etc.): 1) Know the Timeline Obviously you don't talk about this right away, but after you've been dating for a while and they've shared that they plan on moving to Dubai for this 6 year MBA program, you might want to ask where exactly do they see you fitting in to their plan. Will you marry and then go through school or will you wait till they finish before getting married? 2) Know Yourself Can you do long distance relationships? Could you do 1 year of only weekly email messages and keep your enthusiasm and commitment up? Could you guard yourself from thrusting all your feelings and problems on random guy/girl that has a great listening ear? If you know you can't do a LDR then don't even try. Either get married, get engaged and move together, or break up. Can you handle being looked at funny since you're only a lowly landscape architect and she's earned a PhD and MD and is the go-to specialist in the field of lung cancer? 3) Know What You're Getting Yourself Intoan you handle being a missionary in random place X living in a village with facilities that make China squat toilets look glamorous? Are you ok with people always bringing all their problems to you (or your mate) and expect you to drop everything and help them? Are you ok if they're in the CIA and they don't share anything about work with you? Can you handle going through residency, having your mate putting in 80 hours a week with other attractive bright people doing things you know nothing about? 4) Know the $$$ (or lack thereof)Are you OK with having a small income or having to support your spouse for an extended period of time? Money is a big reason married couples fight. Especially if one spouse tends to be a spender and one a saver, or if one expects a certain standard of living. Can you be happy and together and poor? Hopefully you can. 5) Know Why They're Doing It Do you agree that they'd make a great doctor? Should he become a pastor? Would you respect him and follow his leadership if he was? Does he have the confidence and character to become a lawyer and hold onto his values and integrity? Does your heart also long for the nations to come and know Jesus through overseas missionary work, and you'd be OK being the one to go? If you know all five of those things, and you and your bf/gf are in agreement on all five of those things you're going to probably do pretty well. Don't worry if you don't feel "called to be a pastor's wife" since that's a stupid way to put it anyways. If your boyfriend stopped seminary and didn't want to be a pastor anymore you wouldn't break up and find another seminarian because you "feel called to be a pastor's wife." But do worry about whether you're a Christian, whether you're OK being under extra scrutiny as a wife/mother, whether you can support your husband to do this, and how your career/goals may fit into the life of the family. This goes for any major career pursuit. And I think most of all is this: can you support them? Whether or not you think they'd be a good lawyer/doctor/pastor will dictate whether you become their greatest cheerleader and support, or if you'll be the one to kick them when they're down. If they value you more than this career pursuit, and you would love for them to succeed, then YES you should get married. What do you think?" -define the relationship,xanga So, what do you really think?