Grace Through Faith

There's about six more weeks left before the semester is over and there's so much I want to say, but a gist of what has been going on in the chaos of my thoughts.

1. Learning how to receive His grace despite my shortcomings.
2. Striving to become molded and being more like Christ
3. Receiving and pouring out
4. Perspective- futuristic goals
5. When to speak and when to listen (slow to speak and quick to listen)- to become mature
6. Loving others even when I don't the strength


I want to be a freshmen in college. There are definitely times when I feel like a freshmen at heart, but I need to accept my responsibilities and grow up. Definitely eye opening perspective.

"Keep your head in ALL situations, endure hardships... discharge all the duties of your ministry." -2 Timothy 4:5

My Life In A Nutshell

Super busy-

Pictures Speak A Thousand Words:

^Above is the infant room @ UCMerced.

Volunteer Job- Early Childhood Educational Center. I volunteered at the preschool on campus at UCMerced for about a year in a half. Sadly Miss Christina left to take a job up in the Bay and Mrs. Amanda is on maternity leave. The entire dynamics of the classroom changed and one of the teachers I had worked with asked if I wanted to volunteer in the infant room. I definitely feel less drained volunteering in the infant room. Extremely different from what I am accustomed to.

I wish I had more pictures of my other work places. Since I have a camera, I'll take pictures and post them up when I have time

The three other jobs:
1. Research Assistant in Professor Michelle Chouinard's Lab- Recruitment, Lab, Mandatory Meetings
2. Translator/Interpreter for Cantonese/English (Temporary)
3. Natural Sciences in Education- Teach Science in Fremont third grade

Aside from school, I've been to two retreats for DIVE.
Being on leadership is so fun and I enjoy forming relationships with the freshmen. :)


Freshmen Retreat- Bonfire

^Freshmen Retreat wit Dive Leaders


Fall Retreat- Free Time

Fall Retreat-Free Time/ Rock CLIMBING (My first time. SOOO SCARY!)

Fall Retreat- Games/Worship/Sermon (Not sure why I raised my two hands)

Other Activities! Miscellaneous

Giants Game with High School Friends- Saturday, October 2nd (Giants v. Padres) Giants lost :(

Giant's Game- BUSTER POSEY! <3 style="width: 629px; height: 472px;" alt="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs005.snc4/33588_432270681609_607371609_5653912_1514628_n.jpg" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs005.snc4/33588_432270681609_607371609_5653912_1514628_n.jpg">
Giant's Game- Natalie and I (I've known her since 3rd grade! We attended the same school from 3rd grade til senior year in high school.)

Giant's Game- Left to Right: Christine's Brother, Christine, Mel, Nat

More updates to come! :)

It's week four onto my third year in college and God has wowed me. Only four weeks and I've gotten a chance to see God continuously challenge me through several obstacles. Over the past four weeks:
I've gotten the chance to meet freshmen who are eager to grow and to know God better
I've see my weaknesses and burdens become so overwhelming that God is and was and will be the source of my rest.
I've had to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine who is leavng for the peace corp. Ptl for his heart and boldness to serve others in a broken and foreign country.
I've never studied so hard to the point of reading the actual textbook
preparing and eating three meals a day
two exams: stats and clinical neuropsychology on back to back days
difficulties in work
Lastly, reminding myself of the GOSPEL.

You Are Mine Forevermore. Redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Sanctified to Glorify God. Loved to love others. Covered by His Grace. Healed by His Compassion. Broken to cling onto the Cross at Calvary. Freed from the chains of sin and guilt.

I really don't know what title this post deserves. Today marks the end of my 2nd week as a 3rd year and I acknowledge my weaknesses to serve as a leader for Dive already. Perhaps the lack of passion for the Gospel on a daily basis. I keep my mini Bible/journal in my bag throughout the day and not once was it cracked open. = Lack of passion in wanting to know more about God and His salvation and workings in my life. Secondly I have not given God my very best in serving the Freshmen. I want to love and spend more time with them individually. However, I am extremely exhausted and home is where I get my physical rest. I finally decided to drop one of my classes- Art1A(Drawing). Now I am taking a total of 15 units which is not bad at all, but that means enrolling into 2 summer classes.

Ultimately I do not want to live a mundane life, rather a life glorifying and pleasing to Him rejoicing in our risen Savior, Jesus Christ!

I bought a few songs from Enfield's new CD- The Enfield Hymn Session.
Definitely gotta <3 the hymnals!

There Is A Fountain
Crown Him With Many Crowns
Blessed Assurance
Be Thou My Vision

:)

Theology

Yayuh! The first week of school is officially over! And I am exhausted! Sleeping, reading, and spending time with just God and me is such a blessing and extremely rewarding! <3

I've been meaning to buy Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem, but I'll purchase it another time. In the meantime I found another interesting book: "Essential Trusts of the Christian Faith"- R.C. Sproul.

Why theology? purpose of theology?
Here's a glimpse of the introduction: Every Christian is a theologian. We are always engaged in activity of learning about the things of God... The Bible declares that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

If there's one type of reading I am willing to spend hours flipping through the pages, it would be this book at the moment. :) This book is comprised of mainly reformed theology and the author adds in other theology beliefs to display both sides of party.

Totally recommend this book! It's a regular sized book so you can carry it around! :D

Passing the Paton.

I remember the first day of college, moving in with low expectations of what God had for me. The day I moved, my parents prayed for me and I was feeling the pressure of being by myself. I was relocated from the freshmen dorms (Mariposa) and into a suite of 6 persons (San Joaquin Hall). Unexpected of what God had in store for me, my roommate and I grew closer to some extent and my suitemates and I got along pretty well. I committed my high school career to singlehood, even though it costed me a few friendships (which has be restored out of the grace of God over the past four years). During the first week of the Management Summer Bridge Program (I had moved in the dorms two weeks prior to the incoming freshmen move in day). Throughout the program I gained insight and gist of what college was like. During the intense two weeks of writing, economics, math, and seminars, I grew excited after meeting a few Christians. Anyways, during the first week at the MSBP, I wanted to dedicate another year to staying single, however, God had other plans for me. During a difficult relationship, I fell away from my fellowship, friendships, and last but not least, I fell away and grew distanted from God. My prayers were half hearted and selfish prayers. Nonetheless, I am extremely blessed by the trials God has placed in my life. Though I struggled and was unable to support myself, I am so thankful for my friendships and Brothers and Sisters in Christ who prayed for me and helped me grow through my weaknesses.

So why did I title this note: "Passing the Paton"? I recently had a conversation with one of the graduates of 09' and she could not believe that some of the sophomores my freshmen year are finally seniors, leading the pack spiritually. And at the same time I can't believe it that I am officially a third year. The super seniors did instill in us lessons that they had learned, examples that they had set (dedicating their time and money to serve us even though rejection and etc), and lastly displaying God's love into our lives. I am sooo grateful and blessed to have met these awesome seniors. Definitely setting our eyes on Christ as we love upon these freshmen without expectations is what I really hope the upperclassmen and leadership team are actively praying and living it out loud! :)

Prioritizing

School year is going to start in about 7 days and I am already feeling the pressure of taking a load of 19 units, (5 classes, teaching biology in a third grade classroom, and being a research assistant, volunteering at the Early Childhood Educational Center), investing time into the freshmen class. Lastly, my grandma hasn't been doing well over the past 4 years. We're basically counting the days she has left. Praying that she will receive the Gospel and realize that God sent His one and only Son to die on the cross. I want to come home more often to visit her and keep her company.

Definitely dedicating this school year to my grandma, freshmen->DIVE leadership, academics, and work. Time is way too short to waste.


Yay for now! :)
Hi everyone,

NSED 24 and NSED 34 will not be meeting for the first week of classes. You will receive more information on these classes during NSED 23 and NSED 33.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks


:/Busy semesterrrr.

Hi everyone,

Just a few reminders before we start the fall semester in a week.

• I need all new RAs to turn in a hardcopy of the certificate of completion of their online CitiProgram Training on Tuesday (Aug. 24th) during my office hours (11am-1pm)
• Recruitment is MANDATORY for all RAs, irregardless of seniority
• A few of you have listed recruiting as your first preference. If you'd like to adjust your preferences let me know, to not include recruiting being that it's mandatory, let me know.
• Do not forget our e-mail policy: you must check your messages AND reply AT LEAST once every 24 hours M-F, and AT LEAST once every 48 hours on the weekend. This will be enforced next week.

Everyone should have been given a copy of the General Information to keep during your RA orientation. All of this information is included and was discussed. If you have any questions or concerns, let me know as soon as they arise.

Thanks and see you all next week!

Jackie

I've been praying that God will sustain me this semester and for more patience. This will definitely be the season of challenges and to be more like Christ. More of Christ and less of me.

"I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith" -Hosanna, Hillsong
Keeping incoming freshmen in our prayers that God will give us the heart/time/patience to show them how much the gospel means to us.

God is always good, sooo good!!

Church Hopping

Over the span of 2-4 years, I've been inconsistently church hopping from a Golden Gate Chinese Church, San Francisco Bible Church, First Chinese Baptist Church, Chinese Independent Baptist Church, and my home church Chinese United Methodist Church. I narrowed it down over the past year to SFBC and CUMC.

SFBC Pros-
I love how Biblically grounded they are in the Word.
Everyone is passionate about diving into the Word.
Sermons are centered around the gospel.
Conservative in theology.
The unity of the church and the body.
The conservative aspect of where sisters would rather spend quality time with sisters over their brothers.
Friendships I've made over the past year.
Spiritually mature Brothers and Sisters

CUMC Pros-
Born and raised in this church.
Served in the church
Community
Inside jokes and lifetime friendships


I'm torn between the two churches. I really do want to serve either of the churches, but they are both very different environments. :/ Do I choose spiritual growth over lifetime friends? How will I be able to serve if I commit to either of the churches? Or do I continue to church hop? Perhaps decide later?

Take You Back- Jeremy Camp

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Tho my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds
Forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
And I know your response will always be

Chorus:
I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry of what I'm
looking for And I'll take all I can
and lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now
that radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that erases
all these faults that have overtaken me and
I know that your response will always be

(Chorus)

I can only speak with a graceful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back
Even when the pain is coming through
You take me back

Christ is all we need.

Isaiah 53:5 English Standard Version (©2001)
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

The Beauty of the Gospel

The Fundamentals!

Reading the Word is so important, because it's God's truth for us! It helps us refer to Bible passages when we or to those who are in need. The Bible has really helped me over the past six months and reading the Word is like as one of my friend puts it "having a meal". We can't survive without it, because it's spiritual food! I am super encouraged to read that the Lord is the sustainer of our faith. He is so faithful and good to us! Though my flesh and heart may fail, HE is my portion forever. :)

All for the glory of God!

We Love Because ..

We love because Christ first loved us! (1 John 4:19). This is probably my 2nd or 3rd week meeting and spending time with the freshmen. I'm a bit worn out already, but at the end of the day I know each and every minute is well worth the time. Meeting them was not by coincidence, because God had planned it all out long beforehand. God seriously presents opportunities for us to invest our time in people, but it's up to us if we want to respond to this calling! Though many of them have not received the gospel into their hearts, they are always in my heart and prayers. I have never prayed so hard for anyone other than myself before.

--
I had a brief conversation with my mom and we went onto the subject of relationships. Recently a few dating relationships were sprouted from my immediate siblings to my cousins. My mom reminded me of this wonderful truth- you can lose a relationship because it is NOT the world, but you cannot lose CHRIST above all else. It's sooo true. Relationships come and go, but Christ remains. I know that God will provide the right one for me one day. Essentially that is not my priority, rather we are called to serve Christ with all that we have. Time IS SHORT! Living a life of urgency in proclaiming the GOSPEL! Who am I that God would send His ONE and ONLY son to be pierced on the cross for my past, current, and future sins? I love reading the Gospel of Matthew! :)

I am finally on Psalm 74. Yesterday I read the third book of Psalm 73. I love the following verses:
25-26:

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and heart may fail,
but God is my strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Amen?

Btw, I am not stating that being in a relationship is bad, rather time is short! Love God. Love People! And be loved!
--
Over the past week I volunteered at the Early Childhood Educational Center! So there are three mandarin speaking kids (which is extremely rare in Merced). I was so sad when one of them is leaving permanently for Taiwan. I met her the winter of 2009 and she rarely spoke. When I came in and spoke to her in my broken and limited Mandarin, she finally started to talk to me in Mandarin. One of the teachers was surprised and shared with me saying, "Wow I've never heard her speak until you came." She would drag me around to make puzzles, arts and crafts, and blow bubbles, etc. I'm probably not going to see her ever again, but wow she picked up English throughout the past year and she speaks probably 70% or more in English now! Definitely encouraged me to be a preschool teacher! :)

Too Close For Comfort?

Looking at my plans for the future, which is teaching overseas in a program for a year or two or even longer.. I can see myself in this career path. BUT what I REALLY want to do is to work as an orphanage director somewhere, anywhere! Children need to be loved and especially those in orphanages. What I'm most worried about is supporting and taking care of my parents. Perhaps I should get a teaching credential as a backup plan, but does God calls us to live a comfortable life? Maybe applying to grad school is a way to honor my parents and after I work and support them, I can go overseas and work in an orphanage? What if I get sidetracked and never end up working for orphanage (if God's calling really is for me to serve the Lord overseas)! Ahhhhhhh.

What's Going On?

Pastor Henry, Scott, and Dave McGurk were busy on Sunday, so we had a guest speaker! Oh man, I really enjoyed this sermon. It was about God presenting opportunities for us to serve. I never really thought much about my motives for serving. But I really do hope I take every opportunity to serve the Lord (freshmen, church, leadership, home church, and just whatever the Lord gives me). Although I'm not exactly talented musically or anything, but I love spending quality time with people!
-
As for my Anth class, our professor distributed our grade before final. First exam score: 38 out of 84. Second exam score: 40/77. And an 8.5 out of 10 for lab 1. I expected a D or F, but out of God's grace thus far I have a B-. Kind of nervous about the final on Thursday.
-
I got stitches five days ago and for Arts 170 (Architecture) we have to construct a cube, sphere, and pyramid using glue and an xacto-knife. :/
-
My itouch came! :) It's pretty cool! Debating if I'm going to Socal for a couple of days.
-
& more! sleep deprived so I'll update if I think of something

Thanks Joanna & Jordan for such an amazing Saturday! You girls are awesome!

Questions

Earlier this week I was asked a question regarding my walk with the Lord.

In all honesty, I'm relearning/rediscovering God all over again. More so falling for God all over again. (Cheesy? Yes! But I do mean it!) I'm still struggling to read the Word every single day. I have days where I want to read the word and not so good days where I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. But my biggest struggle: "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." -Jerry Bridges The bold sentence is how I feel exactly. Reading the book on the Disciplines of Grace -Jerry Bridges has helped me realize what it means to believe and experience God's grace. And PTL I'm on the 50th page! :D Jia youuu!

God is LOVE!

I'm truly thankful that I am receiving this opportunity to meet a few freshmen. Ahh, that's all I can blog about. But I guess you can tell I'm that excited to see where God leads us. So originally I wasn't going to take summer classes. Sometimes you get this tugging from God to do His will. A friend of mine back at home asked my reasoning behind staying for summer session this year. I decided to take summer courses because I am pretty much behind if I wanted to apply for graduation fall 2011. A month after enrolling into summer courses, I felt this nudge on my heart to serve on leadership despite my shortcomings. And this led to me wanting to table for orientation. After taking the strengthfinder test, I was asked what I wanted to do. I replied, "serving and plugging in the freshmen class by being intentional with them." (For a second I did not know where that came from and not knowing if I was passionate about serving the first years). Last week I realized my heart for the incoming freshmen. I got to spend time and get to know the freshmen. They are so unique in every way and they remind me of how I was like my freshmen year. I'm uber encouraged to see their hearts of service and their gratefulness. And my heart from serving them as much as I can is motivated by God's unconditional love. It's contagiousss! <3

Hm, I think that I'm committing my last year in a half to serving the incoming freshmen. :)

Sorry I am grammatically incorrect today. I am exhausted and ready to dive into beddd :)

English Standard Version (©2001)
We love because he first loved us
1 John 4:19

Getting Healthy

So this summer tons of people are trying to get healthy and lose weight at the same time. It's pretty neat to see everyone do it, esp during the summer where tons of yummy greasy foods are the way to go. Pretty encouraging to see healthy dieting and workouts. I guess for me I'm trying to get healthy and gain weight at the same time. It's going to take lots of work, but my goal by the end of the summer is to be 105lbs. I could just buy tons of fatty lipids or just eat lard for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I'd figure higher cholesterol leads to arteries clogging up = no bueno.

Getting stressed with summer school work and busyness doesn't help with me eating 3 meals a day. It's not that I don't enjoy eating. I love eating! Probably more so lack of time = no time to cook = not eating meals + snacking on chips = stomach shrinking before my eyes. I really do try to diet correctly by eating big portions to gain weight. My weight fluctuates between 94-98lbs.

Hence the schedule to eat everyday, every meal. This is pretty sad, but this will help motivate me to gain weight from creating a thorough schedule then schedule it is! Lol. Another plus working out to gain muscles. Since muscles is heavier than fat.

Here's my meal plan!
7/16/2010, Friday
Breakfast:Cereal with granola nuts(two bowls)
Lunch: Mashed potatoes/ ravioli with pasta sauce and moz cheese
Dinner: steak/ rice/ boiled veggies
Snacks: grapes, plum, fruit snacks

7/17/2010 Saturday
Cereal with granola nuts(two bowls)
kimchi fried rice/ miso soup
spam masubi
ice cream, fruit salad, baked chips

7/18/2010 Sunday
Bagel with cream cheese
eat out?
kimchi chigae
carrot sticks with ranch, celery sticks with peanut butter
7/19/2010 Monday
Bagel with cream cheese
Leftovers?
Leftovers?
apple sauce,. cheese sticks

7/20/2010 Tuesday
2 Bananas
Pastrami with muester cheese and avocado
Meatloaf
anything

bigger portions later on, need to expand tummy first!

Most of them are true. Haha, thanks Joanne.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Everything I Have/Had Breaks.

My laptop is slowly dying on me after using it for only 3 years. First the left clicker broke and now it's freezing on me. :( Any affordable deals for laptops?

One of my cousins decided to sell her new Ipod Touch 3G 8GB new for $150. I guess this Ipod Touch is going to take the place of my laptop for a few months. I'm pretty excited for it to come in the mail! :)

Other than that summer school has been tough. Next week will be my last week of school. I really do hope I pass my Anthro class. I'm even okay with a C-. I just want to get school over with asap. And travel around the world or do something with my life. But one thing I am looking forward to is serving the freshmen! I really can't wait to meet more incoming freshmen! :) Bittersweet.

Lecrae- Desperate

[Hook: Cam]
I'm so desperate, I can't believe I've sinned against you
Create in me a clean heart (I'm so sorry)
Your mercy is what I need

[Verse 1: Lecrae]
Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed
Can't stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head
Feel like a disappointment like the scum of the earth
I'm so hurt I know you see I can't cover my dirt
My souls dying hearts weak and I can't even cry
I'm supposed to run to you but WHY I'm such an evil guy
The sun's shining but for me it's the darkest of days
Try to pretend it never happened but the guilt remains
I leave the house it feels like everybody knows I did it
Feels like they reading my mind and know the sin I committed
Through your blood I'm aquitted but my heart doesnt get it
Oh God I'm desperate for Help cause I'm grieving your Spirit
I couldn't sing in the sunday service, Lord I felt fake
And when they started communion I just made an escape
I'm in need of your grace
Feels like you hid your face
Lead me back to cross and show me my sins erased

[Verse 2: Lecrae]
I'm waste deep in my pity
Is Satan tryna trick me and tell me you won't forgive me
Cause it's starting to get me
Jesus help me quickly I hate wrong I've done
I know we all fall but I feel like the only one
Feels like I should be shunned
Should I punish myself
I know it's dumb cause by your death all my sin has been dealt
But my sin is been felt
I didn't want to do it
But what I want to do I don't
I swear I'm gonna to lose it
Try to open my bible I need to read your pages

I need you Lord but my guilt has got me feeling so faithless
Help me see where your face is
Take me back to the basics
Help me find my joy in you and not people and places
My sin is ever before me I turned my back on you
Oh father break and restore me to bring me back to you

[Verse 3: Lecrae]
Have mercy on me God according to your steady love
Wipe away my transgression and wash me in your blood
Create in me a clean heart renew a right spirit
Don't take your Spirit away your Presence keep me near it
I'm waiting patience on you Lord I know you hear my cry
Restore your Joy in me
For you alone I live and die

It's you I Glorify cause you don't want my sacrifice
You want me broken and contrite trusting in the Christ
I confess to you my sin and you show me mercy
I turn away from it demonstrating that you are worthy
Over lust, over pride, over all sin
Is my affection for Jesus is who died for all them
I was lost now I'm found I was toss to the ground
My sin weighed on me heavy but I am no longer bound
As sure as Christ wears the crown
I know that grace will abound
And even when I feel lost I know in You I am found

WORD.

Late Bloomer

I didn't really get the chance to serve the incoming freshmen nor did I make effort to get to know them last year. But there's something about this year where my heart is really looking forward to serving these amazing bunch of people. Perhaps it has to do with someone from my church and 2nd cousin attending UC Merced next year, I don't know. I am not meriting myself rather it is God's grace that is so undeserving for me. God sometimes takes people out of our lives so we are able to meet new people. I am in a different place and environment compared to last year. Though last year was a trialing time for me, I've grown from these mistakes and I am growing everyday! There's so much I have to learn about serving others, the Word, faith, etc! But I'm open to what God has for me!


"I am a great sinner, but I have a great Savior" - John Newton

PS. OH and I want to go to Yosemite!

Wow!

WOWed by the maker and creator of the Heavens and the Earth, because I am constantly amazed by the little things that God did, is doing, and will be doing in our lives.

As of late I have wondered why God has placed the incoming freshmen in my heart, perhaps I did not invest any time in the freshmen (now sophomores) last year. But I know for sure that last year I was still learning/growing and was not in the correct place to be a leader. This is my final full year to really serve here in Merced and I am super duper excited to see what God has in store for me.

For one thing, I am not an initiator nor a conversationalist. But today, I was studying for Anthropology and an incoming freshmen from the class asked if I was meeting up to compare results from the lab. I stated that I was meeting up someone else to study for the exam tomorrow and there a conversation sprouted. It turns out that we both live in SF and it was neat to know that God gave me the confidence and boldness to start a conversation and invite her to upcoming events for DIVE. Praise the Lord!

:)

Rediscovering You- Starfield

I need to just admit
my faith is paper thin
I'm feeling so burned out
On religion

I say an empty prayer
I sing a tired song
I need to just admit that the passion's gone

And I want to get it back

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

I want to learn to pray
The way that David prayed
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don't want to stay the same

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

Lord, I want to be Yours today
I want to know the passion of the saints
And how they were changed

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move

I want to burn for You
Bring me back to life, Jesus
Help me rediscover You

My Walls Are Falling.

Friendships

It's definitely been difficult going through trials with dozens of friends no longer wanting to pursue a friendship with me. Though it hurts a bit, I look around and realize that I am still surrounded by some friends who stuck it out for me like glue. And out of God's grace, He has really used them to pick me up when I fell. I am beyond awe and blown away to know that these Brothers and Sisters in Christ are able to pursue a friendship with me without passing on judgement and loving me beyond my sins. What's greater is God instilled love in their hearts. It has been such a wake up call and realization for me to know that everything that happens is all part of God's will and it will help stretch and grow us in ways we never expected. I am blessed to know that God has never abandoned any of us in all seasons. I can't think of a greater verse, Hebrews 12:1-3.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (English Standard Version)

Hebrews 12

Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith

¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and^A)">(A) sin which clings so closely, and^B)">(B) let us run^C)">(C) with endurance the race that is^D)">(D) set before us, ²looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,^E)">(E) who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising^F)">(F) the shame, and^G)">(G) is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Amen.

<3 YOU all! You know who you are. :)

The 2 Errors

As I reflected and evaluated my recent actions and the root of my heart, I see such wretchedness and brokenness. My sin is what I see. It's not just one sin, but it's one after another. I am sinking and drenching myself in materialism, jealousy, bitterness, hate, envy, sloth, complacency, gossip, and lack of passion for the Gospel.

As I journey onto the second part of chapter 1 in The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges, I am reminded that "a reply reveals an all-too-common misconception of the Christian life: the thinking that, although we are saved by grace, we earn or forfeit God's blessings in our daily lives by our performance"-Bridges15. For an example: Good and bad day scenario:
When faced with a bad day spiritually, when it seems like we've done everything wrong and we end up feeling guilty or perhaps a good day when all our spiritual disciplines are in place we are reasonably satisified with our Christian performance. So how good is good enough?

The point of this good day, bad day comparison is that regardless of our performance, we are always dependent on God's grace! We do not deserve His favor, rather we deserve His wrath! (Bridges19).

The gospel is for sinners. Or those who acknowledge themselves as sinners. Jesus said, "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (Luke5:32) Without the continual reminder of the gospel, we can fall into one of the two errors.

1st error- focus on our external performance and become proud like the Pharisees / we might begin to look down on those who are not as disciplined, obedient, and committed as we are
2nd error- the feeling of guilt / although we are exposed to the disciplines of a Christian life to obedience, service, and in our hearts we have responded to these changes. We then put the gospel on the shelf and we struggle with the failure and guilt of our sin, but we again are focusing on our performance we forget the meaning of GRACE- God's unmerited favor to those
who deserve only His wrath.

Romans 3:23-25 (English Standard Version)

²³for^A)">(A) all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴^B)">(B) and are justified^C)">(C) by his grace as a gift,^D)">(D) through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, ²⁵whom God^E)">(E) put forward as^F)">(F) a propitiation^G)">(G) by his blood, to be received by faith.

And The Birthday Celebration Continues!

Saturday (July 3): I definitely did NOT expect two more days of celebrating my birthday! :)

Saturday, I thought Stepho and I were just gonna grab lunch. I haven't decided where I had wanted to go, so she chose Cheesecake Factory. The Cheesecake Factory was pretty empty at 10:45am ish and it was surprisingly a really nice day. So I was thinking we would eat outside, but she walked up towards one of the waiters:

Stepho said "Table 55".
Me: What's that? 55 guests? Uhhh..

The waiter walked us to "Table 55" and there I saw some of my church friends. It was so simple, but I was totally surprised! Definitely caught me off guard.

Sunday: We had family dinner and we ate tons of great food! And I had my first 20th birthday cake. Afterward my brother, sister, her friend, and I went to met up with a few of our church friends at a Chinese desserts place.

Thank you all for the prayers, blessings, and making my birthday so much more than what I thought it was going to be! :) You guys are awesomebeans!

Every Starry Night Was His Design

Today was my birthday and it was mind bottling to know that 19 years have gone by and onto my 20th chapter in life.

Within these thoughts:

I purchased two wooden blocks while I was at a retreat recently, each reads a different word and listed below is an encouraging verse:

Priority- But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
Forgive- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32


Reasons why I chose "Priority & Forgive".
Priority- Over the past year I have lost sight of who Christ is. I have grown complacent and hopeless of what Christ had/has in store for me. When I look at the verse located in Matthew 6:33, I am reminded that all of my shortcomings, failures, and struggles are short lived when I set my eyes on Christ and on the prize. So what does it mean to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness? It is when we deny ourselves (Luke 9:23 (English Standard Version)Take Up Your Cross and Follow Jesus ²³And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him^A)">(A) deny himself and^B)">(B) take up his cross^C)">(C) daily and follow me.) and live for only God. Because we no longer live for our selfish gain rather to be reminded of how GREAT the Gospel is in our lives, that our lives will be transformed by the blood of Jesus Christ! :)

Forgive- Ephesians 4:32 -Christ calls us to forgive one another and ourselves just as HE forgave us! It has definitely been a challenge to do so, but it will be well worth it in the end!


Resolutions for the year!
1. Fall more in love with God each and everyday in relationship, prayer, and through His word!
2. Figure out what God wants me to do after I graduate!
... that's all I can think of.

The Disciplines of Grace!

^This book is written by Jerry Bridges. Awesome writer.
God's role and our role in the pursuit of holiness.

I found something I really liked in the first chapter:

Every day our Christian experience should be a day of relating to God on the basis of grace alone. We are not only saved by grace, but we also live by grace every day. This grace comes through Christ, "through grace whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand" (Romans 5:2)

grace, grace, grace.

Colorado!

LOL, Look at the little one! He's sooo CUTE! He looks like Curious George! Ironically he's wearing a monkey shirt!
^ What a trouble maker! Totally Curious George!



So surprise, I went to Breckenridge, Colorado! Well I almost did, but I had a midterm.. But my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousin went, which seems pretty awesome to know they had loads of fun on their mini vacation! Hahaha, my mom tagged me as the American flag to include me in one of the pictures, I feel super patriotic now.

Oh, my uncle graduated from .. I'm not exactly sure what college, but he received his MBA.

Yay, I can't wait to go home!

Sovereign Grace Music is awesomesauce! :) Thinking about purchasing a CD, is it worth it?? (Along with a theology book I've been eyeing on!)

Based on The Valley of Vision prayer “The Trinity”

Words and Music by Mark Altrogge

Verse 1
Father, You loved me
Sent Your Son to redeem
Jesus, You washed me
By Your blood I am clean
Spirit, You’ve opened these blinded eyes
And brought me to Christ

AMEN!

Chorus
Heavenly Father, beautiful Son
Spirit of light and truth
Thank You for bringing sinners to come to You

Verse 2
Father, You gave me
To Jesus to keep
And Jesus, You love me
As a shepherd, his sheep
Spirit, You've given me faith in the Son
And made our hearts one

Verse 3
Father, You're waiting
To hear my requests
Jesus, Your loving
Open hand is outstretched
Spirit, You're in me, You intercede
And help in my need


SGM (Sovereign Grace Music)- Has some definitely solid and Biblical songs! :) If you get the chance, listen to them on grooveshark.com

Pride

I am an overachiever when it comes to earning grades. Although grades can only speak so much, rather jobs and grad school see experience > than grades. I worked so hard to get the unthinkable 4.0 for my entire sophomore year. But overall it was out of God's grace and I am totally blessed for what He has given me! Yesterday, I took my midterm, which was horrible. In high school, I barely studied and I got the grades I deserved B-C average and in many occasions D-F. For the first time in my college career, I have never felt sooo unprepared for an exam since high school. This is definitely a humbling experience for me. I believe this is my first failing test in college, perhaps my first C (if I pick it up) in the course. But the weird thing is.. I'm okay with it. SOO, PTL in all that He is doing! :)

Falling In Love

What does it mean to fall in love? This is not your average type of love, it's unconditional love given by someone who is crazy about us. It's not that He needs our love, but rather because He wants to love us! We on the other hand at times don't want to love, know, or have to do anything with Him, but need Him. We are nothing without Him! You can probably identify who loves us, GOD the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

How does a love relationship with the Lord look like? I remember awhile ago, I got to experience a gist of what loving the Lord is, but it's definitely does not come close to how much the Lord loves you and I. A love relationship with God is not merely showing how loud we can pray, how high we raise our hands, or even how much we do for God. A love relationship with God is falling in love with the Gospel! How awesome is that? Sometimes I myself have grown so use to the Gospel, because I've heard of this probably a hundred times. Knowing it is different from believing and falling in love with this one truth! The Gospel takes years and years of understanding, even though we'll never FULLY understand the Gospel. And after falling in love with the Gospel Everything will follow afterward!

If you ever get the chance, read the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney! But I definitely recommend reading the actual Gospel in the Bible! :)

Secondly, it is also a habitual relationship with the Lord! How does our walk with the Lord look like when we're alone compared to when we're in a crowd. Does our relationship run low when we're alone? Evaluating ourselves on a daily basis is sooo important!

Side note:
So I have class at 10am, but I've been waking up super early at like 7am and I really like it! :) Yay, I'm a morning person now!

Updates For The Weekend

License:
I know many of you have been bugging me to get my license.. So, I took my behind the wheel driving test at 8:40am. Thanks to Chewy who was so willing to take me! And..... *drum roll*, I passed! :) I was so nervous my right leg was shaking the entire time and I almost hit the curb while pulling over and a car while entering back into the DMV parking lot *phew*, but out of God's graciousness, I passed! Praise the Lord! I'm super duper excited to drive people around and me self around without relying on others. I need to work on my backing up and parallel parking. Almost hit a car backing up on Friday. I'm too short :(. & Cars always pass and tailgate me, cause I drive speed limit.. I'm a noob.

Midterm:
Soooo, I have a Biological Anthropology midterm tomorrow. Totally screwed, this is the first time I'm going to wing my midterm. *crosses fingers* I don't want to fail this class, but WHY am I so not motivated?? I'm so glad that I'm taking only 2 classes right now, if I took three, I'd be crying right now. Well that means 6, yes SIX classes spring semester of 2011. God please help me!

Behind this smile is a heart yearning to be healed.

It's been five long months since the Lord took away my most prized possession, but I'm ready to hand my life over to Christ once again. I want to be selfless and serve Him with all that I can.

"I want to fall in love with You more and more everyday. You are so beautiful, how can I not fall more in love with you?"

In the secret
in the quiet place
in the stillness You are there
in the secret
in the quiet hour i wait
only for You
'cuz i want to know you more

i want to know you
i want to hear your voice
i want to know you more
i want to touch you
i want to see your face
i want to know you more

i am reaching for the highest goal
that i might receive the prize
pressing onward
pushing every hindrance aside
out of my way
'cuz i want to know you more


You are all I need.

I'd rather write a 10 paged paper than study for this midterm!..

I LOVE Midnight Chats! Definitely A Blessing From the Lord!

Lead Me

So this is what a marriage looks like.


Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Grades

I have this inkling feeling that I'm not going to get a 4.0. This is my second time taking architecture. Once in high school, now college... :/ I don't know why, but do I settle for the B?

God is still good! Praise the Lord for His grace that I am able to receive good grades over the past year despite my trials. You never cease to amaze me!

Joanne:

architectureprofessor

he is quite the hilarious.

Actually, we find it funny because he’s so mean.

So our assignment two days ago was to build a pasta bridge,

and Tiffany built a pretty big foundation.

During critiques, he was like,
“I can tell you spent a lot of time and effort on the bridge,”
Tiff: “yeaah, it took me a long time”
Prof: “wasted!”

we were just like, whaaat?!?! and laughed it off

I somehow have this weird feeling that he can hear it when I make jokes and mock him outside of class.

I personally think he hates me. He did shout “be quiet” to me during class today.

I guess I got kinda loud and excited when my friends and I were talking about how it was hot/cold last night.

Prayers

My prayer walk blossomed freshmen year. I've realized that prayer develops overtime, which made it easier for me to pray during quiet times and in large group settings. This year I've lost passion for prayer, especially for others. Eventually my prayers was done either out of obligation and guilt or selfish gain. Recommitting myself to prayer will definitely be a challenge for me, but I'm up for it! :)

When I was young, my mom and I would pray before we fell asleep. Often times I was embarrassed of praying in front of others (yes I was shy even in front of my mom). But she really helped me gain self confidence in prayer. Anyhoos, during our prayers together, my mom demonstrated selfless prayer, because she prayed for everyone indvidually that came to mind. At times she wouldn't pray for herself or she would add a few sentences for herself in the end.

I think... I'm going to make a prayer wall again.. since it's so hard for me to remember everyone's prayers. If you have any prayers, email, aim, phone, and or comment!

Edit:

1 John 5:14-15 (English Standard Version)

¹⁴And this is^A)">(A) the confidence that we have toward him, that^B)">(B) if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. ¹⁵And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

It's Just God and Me!

RESOLVED.

Over time, it has gotten a lot easier to let go. I'm not simply stating the simplicity of the situation rather the thankfulness I am in the Lord that He's been sovereign in His plans. Though it sometimes is painstakingly hard to forget the past, regardless God is still good. I guess this is goodbye after two years of everything we went through. As much as it felt like it all that was invested went down the drain, I know God gives and takes away and everything given by God was out of GRACE.

Blessed Be Your Name-
You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.

When I read the book of Job, OH boy! Wow to see everything taken away from him and still he was able to say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME! How encouraging is that?!

The real question is whether or not serving the Lord overseas will bring glory to the Lord and of original intention. I really want to serve overseas, but where? There's so many programs, but recently I had a very in-depth conversation with a friend of mine during our Mexico missionary trip. I shared with him my interests of applying to a Korean teaching program overseas. To cut a long story short, we somehow ended up talking about how serving in third world countries is much needed, but what about serving rich and industrialized countries who don't know about God? Korea has a super duper high Christianity rate, but what about Japan? Not to say Korea is not industrialized, rather there is a higher rate. This verse came to mind:

Mark 10:25 (English Standard Version)

²⁵It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter^A)">(A) the kingdom of God."

I really wanted to go to Resolved Conference this coming weekend, but summer school is in session. Perhaps next year. Resolved Conference was inspired by Jonathan Edwards' resolved resolutions. Here's one of them:

Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God's glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution. -Jonathan Edwards

TO FREQUENTLY DELIBERATE ACTION, WHICH SEEMS MOST UNLIKELY TO BE DONE, FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!

Another one of the many:
Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

I want to serve the Lord all that I can without an ulterior motive. I don't want to live in this worldly perspective. All for the GLORY OF GOD!

The key to Christian living is a thirst and hunger for God. And one
of the main reasons people do not understand or experience the
sovereignty of grace and the way it works through the awakening of
sovereign joy is that their hunger and thirst for God is so small."
-John Piper

^I want to thirst and hunger for the LORD more than ever. I want to live a habitual spiritual life for Christ and no longer for myself. And the rest will fall into place.

This Week!

This week I've been insanely busy, especially with school. I'm kind of glad that I'm taking 8 units rater than 12 units, but that means 20 units for spring semester of 2011. I haven't taken summer school since 6th grade and taking summer school at a UC is not quite what I had expected. The enormous amounts of readings, taking notes, projects, midterms, and on top of that 2 in a half hour lectures, is pretty much a handful. But I'm sure it will all be worth it after everything.

One of the classes I added was Biological Anthropology and it is extremely difficult to study the material, because the professor believes in Evolution and the Big Bang Theory. It as been difficult to define myself in the classroom. I really do want to stand up for what I believe in, but I'm not exactly sure how.

-
My license test is this week and I really do want to pass soooo badly. Never in a bagillion years did I picture myself driving. I can't wait to serve others by taking them out to places with my car even though the car is only going to last a few months before it breaks down again. But praise God for this limited opportunity! :)

I've never been sooo excited to get to know the incoming freshmen! Orientation is tomorrow! So I hope God willing that I will get to meet some of the incoming freshmen. Someone from my church and my second cousin are coming this year as freshmen! Definitely looking forward to that! :)

Rambles

An older Sister in Christ back in the day babysat a few of us youngings in church has done a spectacular job with her husband capturing beautiful pictures for wedding and engagement photo sessions: Orange Turtle Photography.

Being a girl, I love attending weddings, because it is a holy matrimony between two intertwining to become one. It is a promise on behalf of both parties committing to a lifetime promise by exchanging vows. "to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life." This beautiful day is witnessed by a multitude of family members, friends, coworkers, relatives, etc.

Switching gears, Christ is married to His bride, the Church. "Ephesians 5:22-33, is the most detailed teaching on marriage in the Bible. We will spend the next three weeks considering this passage. Today, we will notice the place of these verses in the context of the entire book, and then focus on the relationship between Christ and the church. For Paul compares human marriage to the marriage of Christ and his church. Since most of us, however, have little understanding of the relationship between Christ and the church, we are unable to draw out the proper implications for us as husbands and wives."
source

TBC.

Resolutions

Resolutions for the remainder of my college career:

1. Spiritually Disciplined- Read the Word everyday not out of obligation (not legalistic), but out of desire. Pray more. Read more books! Memorize verses.
2. Commitment to the Lord- Just God and I.
3. Community- Be intentional with others. Reach out. Pray and love them.
4. Content- No shopping, allocating money
5. Missional
6. Health- Gain weight, Exercise (HALF DOME!)

I love how Blogspot has a buncha design palettes to choose from! There's so many!

Division?

Have you noticed why there are several denominational churches or even non denominational churches coexisting?

There are a plethora reasons why churches run by a specific theology and or vision. This bring up a question whether or not spiritual food comes from:

1. Subjectivism- basing our view of God on our changing feelings and emotions.
2. Legalism- basing our relationship with God on our own performance.
3. Condemnation- being more focused on our sin than on God's grace.

I recently discerned my foundation in belief through analyzing and evaluating my heart and mind. For a fact, I am not here to influence or sway the decisions of your perspective, rather to create awareness of the issue of division. How do we conjoin different types of beliefs in order to be on agreeable terms with one another? There is not a true way to fix this issue, rather the goal of the problem is to truly pray and love one another despite disagreements regarding theology. This seems like a simple task to accomplish, but in reality it really isn't easy.

While I was in the process of finding what theology I believed in, I spent more time judging others by the way the worshiped. But the Lord has humbled me to remind me that He works in different ways. Worship is versatile.

However, there are a few truths I do believe that sits solid. Just to list a few:

Scripture > Feelings/Emotions

"What's greater is the Truth (Bible) that we focus on first will cause feelings follow.. they'll be reliable feelings because they are anchored in truth. "-CJ Mahaney (Living the Cross Centered Life)


2 Timothy 8-10
8Therefore(Q) do not be ashamed of(R) the testimony about our Lord, nor of(S) me his prisoner, but(T) share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, 9(U) who saved us and(V) called us to[a] a holy calling,(W) not because of our works but because of(X) his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began,[b] 10and which now has(Y) been manifested through(Z) the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus,(AA) who abolished death and(AB) brought life and(AC) immortality to light through the gospel

Feelings: affect our view of reality & the way we live in response to reality

"If we want our hearts to be moved by the gospel, if we want our emotions engaged, if we want to be truly amazed... w e have to start by putting our feelings in their proper place. "
How feelings-focused are we?

"We let our feelings tell us what's true, instead of letting the truth transform our feelings. We let subjective impressions determine what we'll accept as objective fact."

"It's a frightening experience to sit with individuals who actually insist that what they feel is ultimately more autoritative to them than what's written clearly in Scripture.
"God opposes the proud...God gives grace to the humble." James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5

As I began to believe the objective truth of His Word regardless of how I feel, I am consistently reminded that Jesus loves you, me, us regardless of our feelings. What an amazing truth! God is SOO GOOD!

Overview!

Although summer is coming to a halt and summer school is right around the corner, I am ready to hit the books! Time flies by quick, it's been a month since I stepped foot into school and in all honesty, it has been one of the most relaxing and enjoyable summers yet! This summer was filled with laughter, quality time, and personal growth. I am definitely looking forward to my second half of my summer after summer session. Here's a brief overview of what I did:

CPC Sponsor Family BBQ- I wish I had a picture of my sponsor parents, but here's a gist of what we did! :)

Last large group of Spring 2010.

Post Graduation- We had about 5 farewell dinners/hang outs. And here's a few of them: Starbucks 1/2 off Frappuccino! Froyo! Lunch @ the senior girls house. SF Sleepover!

Great America, Sleepover, BJ's with Elementary School/HS Friends!

CPC's Tijuana, Mexico Missionary Trip- This missionary trip has reaffirmed me of why I want to serve overseas in the nearby future! (After spending a week in Mexico, my heart really goes out to the children who don't know of God's love. These kids have so much joy and hope, even though many of them don't have families or even a home to run to. It really encouraged me to serve the Lord with all that I can whether it is working in an orphanage or teaching in an elementary school overseas. To live with urgency now that God has given me a second chance to give all that I have!)

Breakfast with Bao&Paloma!

More pictures to come!

Side note: It has truly been out of God's grace and mercy that I am able to really get to know my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. I am sooo blessed to be a part of their lives to see their spiritual growth! :)