Questions

Earlier this week I was asked a question regarding my walk with the Lord.

In all honesty, I'm relearning/rediscovering God all over again. More so falling for God all over again. (Cheesy? Yes! But I do mean it!) I'm still struggling to read the Word every single day. I have days where I want to read the word and not so good days where I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. But my biggest struggle: "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." -Jerry Bridges The bold sentence is how I feel exactly. Reading the book on the Disciplines of Grace -Jerry Bridges has helped me realize what it means to believe and experience God's grace. And PTL I'm on the 50th page! :D Jia youuu!

God is LOVE!

I'm truly thankful that I am receiving this opportunity to meet a few freshmen. Ahh, that's all I can blog about. But I guess you can tell I'm that excited to see where God leads us. So originally I wasn't going to take summer classes. Sometimes you get this tugging from God to do His will. A friend of mine back at home asked my reasoning behind staying for summer session this year. I decided to take summer courses because I am pretty much behind if I wanted to apply for graduation fall 2011. A month after enrolling into summer courses, I felt this nudge on my heart to serve on leadership despite my shortcomings. And this led to me wanting to table for orientation. After taking the strengthfinder test, I was asked what I wanted to do. I replied, "serving and plugging in the freshmen class by being intentional with them." (For a second I did not know where that came from and not knowing if I was passionate about serving the first years). Last week I realized my heart for the incoming freshmen. I got to spend time and get to know the freshmen. They are so unique in every way and they remind me of how I was like my freshmen year. I'm uber encouraged to see their hearts of service and their gratefulness. And my heart from serving them as much as I can is motivated by God's unconditional love. It's contagiousss! <3

Hm, I think that I'm committing my last year in a half to serving the incoming freshmen. :)

Sorry I am grammatically incorrect today. I am exhausted and ready to dive into beddd :)

English Standard Version (©2001)
We love because he first loved us
1 John 4:19

Getting Healthy

So this summer tons of people are trying to get healthy and lose weight at the same time. It's pretty neat to see everyone do it, esp during the summer where tons of yummy greasy foods are the way to go. Pretty encouraging to see healthy dieting and workouts. I guess for me I'm trying to get healthy and gain weight at the same time. It's going to take lots of work, but my goal by the end of the summer is to be 105lbs. I could just buy tons of fatty lipids or just eat lard for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I'd figure higher cholesterol leads to arteries clogging up = no bueno.

Getting stressed with summer school work and busyness doesn't help with me eating 3 meals a day. It's not that I don't enjoy eating. I love eating! Probably more so lack of time = no time to cook = not eating meals + snacking on chips = stomach shrinking before my eyes. I really do try to diet correctly by eating big portions to gain weight. My weight fluctuates between 94-98lbs.

Hence the schedule to eat everyday, every meal. This is pretty sad, but this will help motivate me to gain weight from creating a thorough schedule then schedule it is! Lol. Another plus working out to gain muscles. Since muscles is heavier than fat.

Here's my meal plan!
7/16/2010, Friday
Breakfast:Cereal with granola nuts(two bowls)
Lunch: Mashed potatoes/ ravioli with pasta sauce and moz cheese
Dinner: steak/ rice/ boiled veggies
Snacks: grapes, plum, fruit snacks

7/17/2010 Saturday
Cereal with granola nuts(two bowls)
kimchi fried rice/ miso soup
spam masubi
ice cream, fruit salad, baked chips

7/18/2010 Sunday
Bagel with cream cheese
eat out?
kimchi chigae
carrot sticks with ranch, celery sticks with peanut butter
7/19/2010 Monday
Bagel with cream cheese
Leftovers?
Leftovers?
apple sauce,. cheese sticks

7/20/2010 Tuesday
2 Bananas
Pastrami with muester cheese and avocado
Meatloaf
anything

bigger portions later on, need to expand tummy first!

Most of them are true. Haha, thanks Joanne.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Everything I Have/Had Breaks.

My laptop is slowly dying on me after using it for only 3 years. First the left clicker broke and now it's freezing on me. :( Any affordable deals for laptops?

One of my cousins decided to sell her new Ipod Touch 3G 8GB new for $150. I guess this Ipod Touch is going to take the place of my laptop for a few months. I'm pretty excited for it to come in the mail! :)

Other than that summer school has been tough. Next week will be my last week of school. I really do hope I pass my Anthro class. I'm even okay with a C-. I just want to get school over with asap. And travel around the world or do something with my life. But one thing I am looking forward to is serving the freshmen! I really can't wait to meet more incoming freshmen! :) Bittersweet.

Lecrae- Desperate

[Hook: Cam]
I'm so desperate, I can't believe I've sinned against you
Create in me a clean heart (I'm so sorry)
Your mercy is what I need

[Verse 1: Lecrae]
Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed
Can't stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head
Feel like a disappointment like the scum of the earth
I'm so hurt I know you see I can't cover my dirt
My souls dying hearts weak and I can't even cry
I'm supposed to run to you but WHY I'm such an evil guy
The sun's shining but for me it's the darkest of days
Try to pretend it never happened but the guilt remains
I leave the house it feels like everybody knows I did it
Feels like they reading my mind and know the sin I committed
Through your blood I'm aquitted but my heart doesnt get it
Oh God I'm desperate for Help cause I'm grieving your Spirit
I couldn't sing in the sunday service, Lord I felt fake
And when they started communion I just made an escape
I'm in need of your grace
Feels like you hid your face
Lead me back to cross and show me my sins erased

[Verse 2: Lecrae]
I'm waste deep in my pity
Is Satan tryna trick me and tell me you won't forgive me
Cause it's starting to get me
Jesus help me quickly I hate wrong I've done
I know we all fall but I feel like the only one
Feels like I should be shunned
Should I punish myself
I know it's dumb cause by your death all my sin has been dealt
But my sin is been felt
I didn't want to do it
But what I want to do I don't
I swear I'm gonna to lose it
Try to open my bible I need to read your pages

I need you Lord but my guilt has got me feeling so faithless
Help me see where your face is
Take me back to the basics
Help me find my joy in you and not people and places
My sin is ever before me I turned my back on you
Oh father break and restore me to bring me back to you

[Verse 3: Lecrae]
Have mercy on me God according to your steady love
Wipe away my transgression and wash me in your blood
Create in me a clean heart renew a right spirit
Don't take your Spirit away your Presence keep me near it
I'm waiting patience on you Lord I know you hear my cry
Restore your Joy in me
For you alone I live and die

It's you I Glorify cause you don't want my sacrifice
You want me broken and contrite trusting in the Christ
I confess to you my sin and you show me mercy
I turn away from it demonstrating that you are worthy
Over lust, over pride, over all sin
Is my affection for Jesus is who died for all them
I was lost now I'm found I was toss to the ground
My sin weighed on me heavy but I am no longer bound
As sure as Christ wears the crown
I know that grace will abound
And even when I feel lost I know in You I am found

WORD.

Late Bloomer

I didn't really get the chance to serve the incoming freshmen nor did I make effort to get to know them last year. But there's something about this year where my heart is really looking forward to serving these amazing bunch of people. Perhaps it has to do with someone from my church and 2nd cousin attending UC Merced next year, I don't know. I am not meriting myself rather it is God's grace that is so undeserving for me. God sometimes takes people out of our lives so we are able to meet new people. I am in a different place and environment compared to last year. Though last year was a trialing time for me, I've grown from these mistakes and I am growing everyday! There's so much I have to learn about serving others, the Word, faith, etc! But I'm open to what God has for me!


"I am a great sinner, but I have a great Savior" - John Newton

PS. OH and I want to go to Yosemite!