Jumbled Up Thoughts

One of my favorite verses in Psalms:

Psalm 73

^25(AH) Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

Today I had sent out emails to my aunts and uncles who requested for more information on commencement. One of my uncles asked me:

sweet thanks. :-)

How are you? And school? And you & God.

My response would be- I'm good. School is school. But me and God? There are days when I catch myself not wanting to talk to Him and there are days when I just want to spend the entire day with Him. But it feels like I've lost the spark like- 1st semester of freshmen year. The concept of falling in love with God sometimes gives me goosebumps. I want to be in relationship with Him, but I'm stuck. I love the Lord, but how don't know how to want to spend every waking moment with God and to get to know HIM more.

The verse is one of my favorite verses but how can I apply it? A friend requested that I deactivate facebook to spend more time with Him- which I did.

Sin- the second factor hindering my walk with God is sin, condemnation. I know that I am free from the bondage of sin. I know that God has washed away my crimson stain. I need to know it and live it.

Grace Through Faith

There's about six more weeks left before the semester is over and there's so much I want to say, but a gist of what has been going on in the chaos of my thoughts.

1. Learning how to receive His grace despite my shortcomings.
2. Striving to become molded and being more like Christ
3. Receiving and pouring out
4. Perspective- futuristic goals
5. When to speak and when to listen (slow to speak and quick to listen)- to become mature
6. Loving others even when I don't the strength


I want to be a freshmen in college. There are definitely times when I feel like a freshmen at heart, but I need to accept my responsibilities and grow up. Definitely eye opening perspective.

"Keep your head in ALL situations, endure hardships... discharge all the duties of your ministry." -2 Timothy 4:5

My Life In A Nutshell

Super busy-

Pictures Speak A Thousand Words:

^Above is the infant room @ UCMerced.

Volunteer Job- Early Childhood Educational Center. I volunteered at the preschool on campus at UCMerced for about a year in a half. Sadly Miss Christina left to take a job up in the Bay and Mrs. Amanda is on maternity leave. The entire dynamics of the classroom changed and one of the teachers I had worked with asked if I wanted to volunteer in the infant room. I definitely feel less drained volunteering in the infant room. Extremely different from what I am accustomed to.

I wish I had more pictures of my other work places. Since I have a camera, I'll take pictures and post them up when I have time

The three other jobs:
1. Research Assistant in Professor Michelle Chouinard's Lab- Recruitment, Lab, Mandatory Meetings
2. Translator/Interpreter for Cantonese/English (Temporary)
3. Natural Sciences in Education- Teach Science in Fremont third grade

Aside from school, I've been to two retreats for DIVE.
Being on leadership is so fun and I enjoy forming relationships with the freshmen. :)


Freshmen Retreat- Bonfire

^Freshmen Retreat wit Dive Leaders


Fall Retreat- Free Time

Fall Retreat-Free Time/ Rock CLIMBING (My first time. SOOO SCARY!)

Fall Retreat- Games/Worship/Sermon (Not sure why I raised my two hands)

Other Activities! Miscellaneous

Giants Game with High School Friends- Saturday, October 2nd (Giants v. Padres) Giants lost :(

Giant's Game- BUSTER POSEY! <3 style="width: 629px; height: 472px;" alt="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs005.snc4/33588_432270681609_607371609_5653912_1514628_n.jpg" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs005.snc4/33588_432270681609_607371609_5653912_1514628_n.jpg">
Giant's Game- Natalie and I (I've known her since 3rd grade! We attended the same school from 3rd grade til senior year in high school.)

Giant's Game- Left to Right: Christine's Brother, Christine, Mel, Nat

More updates to come! :)

It's week four onto my third year in college and God has wowed me. Only four weeks and I've gotten a chance to see God continuously challenge me through several obstacles. Over the past four weeks:
I've gotten the chance to meet freshmen who are eager to grow and to know God better
I've see my weaknesses and burdens become so overwhelming that God is and was and will be the source of my rest.
I've had to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine who is leavng for the peace corp. Ptl for his heart and boldness to serve others in a broken and foreign country.
I've never studied so hard to the point of reading the actual textbook
preparing and eating three meals a day
two exams: stats and clinical neuropsychology on back to back days
difficulties in work
Lastly, reminding myself of the GOSPEL.

You Are Mine Forevermore. Redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Sanctified to Glorify God. Loved to love others. Covered by His Grace. Healed by His Compassion. Broken to cling onto the Cross at Calvary. Freed from the chains of sin and guilt.

I really don't know what title this post deserves. Today marks the end of my 2nd week as a 3rd year and I acknowledge my weaknesses to serve as a leader for Dive already. Perhaps the lack of passion for the Gospel on a daily basis. I keep my mini Bible/journal in my bag throughout the day and not once was it cracked open. = Lack of passion in wanting to know more about God and His salvation and workings in my life. Secondly I have not given God my very best in serving the Freshmen. I want to love and spend more time with them individually. However, I am extremely exhausted and home is where I get my physical rest. I finally decided to drop one of my classes- Art1A(Drawing). Now I am taking a total of 15 units which is not bad at all, but that means enrolling into 2 summer classes.

Ultimately I do not want to live a mundane life, rather a life glorifying and pleasing to Him rejoicing in our risen Savior, Jesus Christ!

I bought a few songs from Enfield's new CD- The Enfield Hymn Session.
Definitely gotta <3 the hymnals!

There Is A Fountain
Crown Him With Many Crowns
Blessed Assurance
Be Thou My Vision

:)

Theology

Yayuh! The first week of school is officially over! And I am exhausted! Sleeping, reading, and spending time with just God and me is such a blessing and extremely rewarding! <3

I've been meaning to buy Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem, but I'll purchase it another time. In the meantime I found another interesting book: "Essential Trusts of the Christian Faith"- R.C. Sproul.

Why theology? purpose of theology?
Here's a glimpse of the introduction: Every Christian is a theologian. We are always engaged in activity of learning about the things of God... The Bible declares that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

If there's one type of reading I am willing to spend hours flipping through the pages, it would be this book at the moment. :) This book is comprised of mainly reformed theology and the author adds in other theology beliefs to display both sides of party.

Totally recommend this book! It's a regular sized book so you can carry it around! :D

Passing the Paton.

I remember the first day of college, moving in with low expectations of what God had for me. The day I moved, my parents prayed for me and I was feeling the pressure of being by myself. I was relocated from the freshmen dorms (Mariposa) and into a suite of 6 persons (San Joaquin Hall). Unexpected of what God had in store for me, my roommate and I grew closer to some extent and my suitemates and I got along pretty well. I committed my high school career to singlehood, even though it costed me a few friendships (which has be restored out of the grace of God over the past four years). During the first week of the Management Summer Bridge Program (I had moved in the dorms two weeks prior to the incoming freshmen move in day). Throughout the program I gained insight and gist of what college was like. During the intense two weeks of writing, economics, math, and seminars, I grew excited after meeting a few Christians. Anyways, during the first week at the MSBP, I wanted to dedicate another year to staying single, however, God had other plans for me. During a difficult relationship, I fell away from my fellowship, friendships, and last but not least, I fell away and grew distanted from God. My prayers were half hearted and selfish prayers. Nonetheless, I am extremely blessed by the trials God has placed in my life. Though I struggled and was unable to support myself, I am so thankful for my friendships and Brothers and Sisters in Christ who prayed for me and helped me grow through my weaknesses.

So why did I title this note: "Passing the Paton"? I recently had a conversation with one of the graduates of 09' and she could not believe that some of the sophomores my freshmen year are finally seniors, leading the pack spiritually. And at the same time I can't believe it that I am officially a third year. The super seniors did instill in us lessons that they had learned, examples that they had set (dedicating their time and money to serve us even though rejection and etc), and lastly displaying God's love into our lives. I am sooo grateful and blessed to have met these awesome seniors. Definitely setting our eyes on Christ as we love upon these freshmen without expectations is what I really hope the upperclassmen and leadership team are actively praying and living it out loud! :)

Prioritizing

School year is going to start in about 7 days and I am already feeling the pressure of taking a load of 19 units, (5 classes, teaching biology in a third grade classroom, and being a research assistant, volunteering at the Early Childhood Educational Center), investing time into the freshmen class. Lastly, my grandma hasn't been doing well over the past 4 years. We're basically counting the days she has left. Praying that she will receive the Gospel and realize that God sent His one and only Son to die on the cross. I want to come home more often to visit her and keep her company.

Definitely dedicating this school year to my grandma, freshmen->DIVE leadership, academics, and work. Time is way too short to waste.


Yay for now! :)
Hi everyone,

NSED 24 and NSED 34 will not be meeting for the first week of classes. You will receive more information on these classes during NSED 23 and NSED 33.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks


:/Busy semesterrrr.

Hi everyone,

Just a few reminders before we start the fall semester in a week.

• I need all new RAs to turn in a hardcopy of the certificate of completion of their online CitiProgram Training on Tuesday (Aug. 24th) during my office hours (11am-1pm)
• Recruitment is MANDATORY for all RAs, irregardless of seniority
• A few of you have listed recruiting as your first preference. If you'd like to adjust your preferences let me know, to not include recruiting being that it's mandatory, let me know.
• Do not forget our e-mail policy: you must check your messages AND reply AT LEAST once every 24 hours M-F, and AT LEAST once every 48 hours on the weekend. This will be enforced next week.

Everyone should have been given a copy of the General Information to keep during your RA orientation. All of this information is included and was discussed. If you have any questions or concerns, let me know as soon as they arise.

Thanks and see you all next week!

Jackie

I've been praying that God will sustain me this semester and for more patience. This will definitely be the season of challenges and to be more like Christ. More of Christ and less of me.

"I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith" -Hosanna, Hillsong
Keeping incoming freshmen in our prayers that God will give us the heart/time/patience to show them how much the gospel means to us.

God is always good, sooo good!!

Church Hopping

Over the span of 2-4 years, I've been inconsistently church hopping from a Golden Gate Chinese Church, San Francisco Bible Church, First Chinese Baptist Church, Chinese Independent Baptist Church, and my home church Chinese United Methodist Church. I narrowed it down over the past year to SFBC and CUMC.

SFBC Pros-
I love how Biblically grounded they are in the Word.
Everyone is passionate about diving into the Word.
Sermons are centered around the gospel.
Conservative in theology.
The unity of the church and the body.
The conservative aspect of where sisters would rather spend quality time with sisters over their brothers.
Friendships I've made over the past year.
Spiritually mature Brothers and Sisters

CUMC Pros-
Born and raised in this church.
Served in the church
Community
Inside jokes and lifetime friendships


I'm torn between the two churches. I really do want to serve either of the churches, but they are both very different environments. :/ Do I choose spiritual growth over lifetime friends? How will I be able to serve if I commit to either of the churches? Or do I continue to church hop? Perhaps decide later?

Take You Back- Jeremy Camp

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Tho my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds
Forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
And I know your response will always be

Chorus:
I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry of what I'm
looking for And I'll take all I can
and lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now
that radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that erases
all these faults that have overtaken me and
I know that your response will always be

(Chorus)

I can only speak with a graceful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back
Even when the pain is coming through
You take me back

Christ is all we need.

Isaiah 53:5 English Standard Version (©2001)
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

The Beauty of the Gospel

The Fundamentals!

Reading the Word is so important, because it's God's truth for us! It helps us refer to Bible passages when we or to those who are in need. The Bible has really helped me over the past six months and reading the Word is like as one of my friend puts it "having a meal". We can't survive without it, because it's spiritual food! I am super encouraged to read that the Lord is the sustainer of our faith. He is so faithful and good to us! Though my flesh and heart may fail, HE is my portion forever. :)

All for the glory of God!

We Love Because ..

We love because Christ first loved us! (1 John 4:19). This is probably my 2nd or 3rd week meeting and spending time with the freshmen. I'm a bit worn out already, but at the end of the day I know each and every minute is well worth the time. Meeting them was not by coincidence, because God had planned it all out long beforehand. God seriously presents opportunities for us to invest our time in people, but it's up to us if we want to respond to this calling! Though many of them have not received the gospel into their hearts, they are always in my heart and prayers. I have never prayed so hard for anyone other than myself before.

--
I had a brief conversation with my mom and we went onto the subject of relationships. Recently a few dating relationships were sprouted from my immediate siblings to my cousins. My mom reminded me of this wonderful truth- you can lose a relationship because it is NOT the world, but you cannot lose CHRIST above all else. It's sooo true. Relationships come and go, but Christ remains. I know that God will provide the right one for me one day. Essentially that is not my priority, rather we are called to serve Christ with all that we have. Time IS SHORT! Living a life of urgency in proclaiming the GOSPEL! Who am I that God would send His ONE and ONLY son to be pierced on the cross for my past, current, and future sins? I love reading the Gospel of Matthew! :)

I am finally on Psalm 74. Yesterday I read the third book of Psalm 73. I love the following verses:
25-26:

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and heart may fail,
but God is my strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Amen?

Btw, I am not stating that being in a relationship is bad, rather time is short! Love God. Love People! And be loved!
--
Over the past week I volunteered at the Early Childhood Educational Center! So there are three mandarin speaking kids (which is extremely rare in Merced). I was so sad when one of them is leaving permanently for Taiwan. I met her the winter of 2009 and she rarely spoke. When I came in and spoke to her in my broken and limited Mandarin, she finally started to talk to me in Mandarin. One of the teachers was surprised and shared with me saying, "Wow I've never heard her speak until you came." She would drag me around to make puzzles, arts and crafts, and blow bubbles, etc. I'm probably not going to see her ever again, but wow she picked up English throughout the past year and she speaks probably 70% or more in English now! Definitely encouraged me to be a preschool teacher! :)

Too Close For Comfort?

Looking at my plans for the future, which is teaching overseas in a program for a year or two or even longer.. I can see myself in this career path. BUT what I REALLY want to do is to work as an orphanage director somewhere, anywhere! Children need to be loved and especially those in orphanages. What I'm most worried about is supporting and taking care of my parents. Perhaps I should get a teaching credential as a backup plan, but does God calls us to live a comfortable life? Maybe applying to grad school is a way to honor my parents and after I work and support them, I can go overseas and work in an orphanage? What if I get sidetracked and never end up working for orphanage (if God's calling really is for me to serve the Lord overseas)! Ahhhhhhh.

What's Going On?

Pastor Henry, Scott, and Dave McGurk were busy on Sunday, so we had a guest speaker! Oh man, I really enjoyed this sermon. It was about God presenting opportunities for us to serve. I never really thought much about my motives for serving. But I really do hope I take every opportunity to serve the Lord (freshmen, church, leadership, home church, and just whatever the Lord gives me). Although I'm not exactly talented musically or anything, but I love spending quality time with people!
-
As for my Anth class, our professor distributed our grade before final. First exam score: 38 out of 84. Second exam score: 40/77. And an 8.5 out of 10 for lab 1. I expected a D or F, but out of God's grace thus far I have a B-. Kind of nervous about the final on Thursday.
-
I got stitches five days ago and for Arts 170 (Architecture) we have to construct a cube, sphere, and pyramid using glue and an xacto-knife. :/
-
My itouch came! :) It's pretty cool! Debating if I'm going to Socal for a couple of days.
-
& more! sleep deprived so I'll update if I think of something

Thanks Joanna & Jordan for such an amazing Saturday! You girls are awesome!

Questions

Earlier this week I was asked a question regarding my walk with the Lord.

In all honesty, I'm relearning/rediscovering God all over again. More so falling for God all over again. (Cheesy? Yes! But I do mean it!) I'm still struggling to read the Word every single day. I have days where I want to read the word and not so good days where I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. But my biggest struggle: "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." -Jerry Bridges The bold sentence is how I feel exactly. Reading the book on the Disciplines of Grace -Jerry Bridges has helped me realize what it means to believe and experience God's grace. And PTL I'm on the 50th page! :D Jia youuu!

God is LOVE!

I'm truly thankful that I am receiving this opportunity to meet a few freshmen. Ahh, that's all I can blog about. But I guess you can tell I'm that excited to see where God leads us. So originally I wasn't going to take summer classes. Sometimes you get this tugging from God to do His will. A friend of mine back at home asked my reasoning behind staying for summer session this year. I decided to take summer courses because I am pretty much behind if I wanted to apply for graduation fall 2011. A month after enrolling into summer courses, I felt this nudge on my heart to serve on leadership despite my shortcomings. And this led to me wanting to table for orientation. After taking the strengthfinder test, I was asked what I wanted to do. I replied, "serving and plugging in the freshmen class by being intentional with them." (For a second I did not know where that came from and not knowing if I was passionate about serving the first years). Last week I realized my heart for the incoming freshmen. I got to spend time and get to know the freshmen. They are so unique in every way and they remind me of how I was like my freshmen year. I'm uber encouraged to see their hearts of service and their gratefulness. And my heart from serving them as much as I can is motivated by God's unconditional love. It's contagiousss! <3

Hm, I think that I'm committing my last year in a half to serving the incoming freshmen. :)

Sorry I am grammatically incorrect today. I am exhausted and ready to dive into beddd :)

English Standard Version (©2001)
We love because he first loved us
1 John 4:19

Getting Healthy

So this summer tons of people are trying to get healthy and lose weight at the same time. It's pretty neat to see everyone do it, esp during the summer where tons of yummy greasy foods are the way to go. Pretty encouraging to see healthy dieting and workouts. I guess for me I'm trying to get healthy and gain weight at the same time. It's going to take lots of work, but my goal by the end of the summer is to be 105lbs. I could just buy tons of fatty lipids or just eat lard for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I'd figure higher cholesterol leads to arteries clogging up = no bueno.

Getting stressed with summer school work and busyness doesn't help with me eating 3 meals a day. It's not that I don't enjoy eating. I love eating! Probably more so lack of time = no time to cook = not eating meals + snacking on chips = stomach shrinking before my eyes. I really do try to diet correctly by eating big portions to gain weight. My weight fluctuates between 94-98lbs.

Hence the schedule to eat everyday, every meal. This is pretty sad, but this will help motivate me to gain weight from creating a thorough schedule then schedule it is! Lol. Another plus working out to gain muscles. Since muscles is heavier than fat.

Here's my meal plan!
7/16/2010, Friday
Breakfast:Cereal with granola nuts(two bowls)
Lunch: Mashed potatoes/ ravioli with pasta sauce and moz cheese
Dinner: steak/ rice/ boiled veggies
Snacks: grapes, plum, fruit snacks

7/17/2010 Saturday
Cereal with granola nuts(two bowls)
kimchi fried rice/ miso soup
spam masubi
ice cream, fruit salad, baked chips

7/18/2010 Sunday
Bagel with cream cheese
eat out?
kimchi chigae
carrot sticks with ranch, celery sticks with peanut butter
7/19/2010 Monday
Bagel with cream cheese
Leftovers?
Leftovers?
apple sauce,. cheese sticks

7/20/2010 Tuesday
2 Bananas
Pastrami with muester cheese and avocado
Meatloaf
anything

bigger portions later on, need to expand tummy first!

Most of them are true. Haha, thanks Joanne.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.