Wow!

WOWed by the maker and creator of the Heavens and the Earth, because I am constantly amazed by the little things that God did, is doing, and will be doing in our lives.

As of late I have wondered why God has placed the incoming freshmen in my heart, perhaps I did not invest any time in the freshmen (now sophomores) last year. But I know for sure that last year I was still learning/growing and was not in the correct place to be a leader. This is my final full year to really serve here in Merced and I am super duper excited to see what God has in store for me.

For one thing, I am not an initiator nor a conversationalist. But today, I was studying for Anthropology and an incoming freshmen from the class asked if I was meeting up to compare results from the lab. I stated that I was meeting up someone else to study for the exam tomorrow and there a conversation sprouted. It turns out that we both live in SF and it was neat to know that God gave me the confidence and boldness to start a conversation and invite her to upcoming events for DIVE. Praise the Lord!

:)

Rediscovering You- Starfield

I need to just admit
my faith is paper thin
I'm feeling so burned out
On religion

I say an empty prayer
I sing a tired song
I need to just admit that the passion's gone

And I want to get it back

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

I want to learn to pray
The way that David prayed
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don't want to stay the same

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

Lord, I want to be Yours today
I want to know the passion of the saints
And how they were changed

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move

I want to burn for You
Bring me back to life, Jesus
Help me rediscover You

My Walls Are Falling.

Friendships

It's definitely been difficult going through trials with dozens of friends no longer wanting to pursue a friendship with me. Though it hurts a bit, I look around and realize that I am still surrounded by some friends who stuck it out for me like glue. And out of God's grace, He has really used them to pick me up when I fell. I am beyond awe and blown away to know that these Brothers and Sisters in Christ are able to pursue a friendship with me without passing on judgement and loving me beyond my sins. What's greater is God instilled love in their hearts. It has been such a wake up call and realization for me to know that everything that happens is all part of God's will and it will help stretch and grow us in ways we never expected. I am blessed to know that God has never abandoned any of us in all seasons. I can't think of a greater verse, Hebrews 12:1-3.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (English Standard Version)

Hebrews 12

Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith

¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and^A)">(A) sin which clings so closely, and^B)">(B) let us run^C)">(C) with endurance the race that is^D)">(D) set before us, ²looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,^E)">(E) who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising^F)">(F) the shame, and^G)">(G) is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Amen.

<3 YOU all! You know who you are. :)

The 2 Errors

As I reflected and evaluated my recent actions and the root of my heart, I see such wretchedness and brokenness. My sin is what I see. It's not just one sin, but it's one after another. I am sinking and drenching myself in materialism, jealousy, bitterness, hate, envy, sloth, complacency, gossip, and lack of passion for the Gospel.

As I journey onto the second part of chapter 1 in The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges, I am reminded that "a reply reveals an all-too-common misconception of the Christian life: the thinking that, although we are saved by grace, we earn or forfeit God's blessings in our daily lives by our performance"-Bridges15. For an example: Good and bad day scenario:
When faced with a bad day spiritually, when it seems like we've done everything wrong and we end up feeling guilty or perhaps a good day when all our spiritual disciplines are in place we are reasonably satisified with our Christian performance. So how good is good enough?

The point of this good day, bad day comparison is that regardless of our performance, we are always dependent on God's grace! We do not deserve His favor, rather we deserve His wrath! (Bridges19).

The gospel is for sinners. Or those who acknowledge themselves as sinners. Jesus said, "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (Luke5:32) Without the continual reminder of the gospel, we can fall into one of the two errors.

1st error- focus on our external performance and become proud like the Pharisees / we might begin to look down on those who are not as disciplined, obedient, and committed as we are
2nd error- the feeling of guilt / although we are exposed to the disciplines of a Christian life to obedience, service, and in our hearts we have responded to these changes. We then put the gospel on the shelf and we struggle with the failure and guilt of our sin, but we again are focusing on our performance we forget the meaning of GRACE- God's unmerited favor to those
who deserve only His wrath.

Romans 3:23-25 (English Standard Version)

²³for^A)">(A) all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴^B)">(B) and are justified^C)">(C) by his grace as a gift,^D)">(D) through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, ²⁵whom God^E)">(E) put forward as^F)">(F) a propitiation^G)">(G) by his blood, to be received by faith.

And The Birthday Celebration Continues!

Saturday (July 3): I definitely did NOT expect two more days of celebrating my birthday! :)

Saturday, I thought Stepho and I were just gonna grab lunch. I haven't decided where I had wanted to go, so she chose Cheesecake Factory. The Cheesecake Factory was pretty empty at 10:45am ish and it was surprisingly a really nice day. So I was thinking we would eat outside, but she walked up towards one of the waiters:

Stepho said "Table 55".
Me: What's that? 55 guests? Uhhh..

The waiter walked us to "Table 55" and there I saw some of my church friends. It was so simple, but I was totally surprised! Definitely caught me off guard.

Sunday: We had family dinner and we ate tons of great food! And I had my first 20th birthday cake. Afterward my brother, sister, her friend, and I went to met up with a few of our church friends at a Chinese desserts place.

Thank you all for the prayers, blessings, and making my birthday so much more than what I thought it was going to be! :) You guys are awesomebeans!

Every Starry Night Was His Design

Today was my birthday and it was mind bottling to know that 19 years have gone by and onto my 20th chapter in life.

Within these thoughts:

I purchased two wooden blocks while I was at a retreat recently, each reads a different word and listed below is an encouraging verse:

Priority- But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
Forgive- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32


Reasons why I chose "Priority & Forgive".
Priority- Over the past year I have lost sight of who Christ is. I have grown complacent and hopeless of what Christ had/has in store for me. When I look at the verse located in Matthew 6:33, I am reminded that all of my shortcomings, failures, and struggles are short lived when I set my eyes on Christ and on the prize. So what does it mean to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness? It is when we deny ourselves (Luke 9:23 (English Standard Version)Take Up Your Cross and Follow Jesus ²³And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him^A)">(A) deny himself and^B)">(B) take up his cross^C)">(C) daily and follow me.) and live for only God. Because we no longer live for our selfish gain rather to be reminded of how GREAT the Gospel is in our lives, that our lives will be transformed by the blood of Jesus Christ! :)

Forgive- Ephesians 4:32 -Christ calls us to forgive one another and ourselves just as HE forgave us! It has definitely been a challenge to do so, but it will be well worth it in the end!


Resolutions for the year!
1. Fall more in love with God each and everyday in relationship, prayer, and through His word!
2. Figure out what God wants me to do after I graduate!
... that's all I can think of.